Garry Marshall made a movie, and it’s called New Year’s Eve. Perhaps you’ve seen it—though it’s more likely you’ve seen the posters for it. Everybody who ever sneezed at famous is in this movie. And it may surprise you to learn that this is not a very good movie. That’s a real shame because a concept so timeless as New Year’s Eve should not be ruined by merely one movie. A concept like New Year’s Eve deserves that treatment from multiple movies. So I stepped in to help.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present you with the world premiere of my finest filmmaking effort to date, New Year’s Eve.